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There, Wrote This
Salary Cap Or Dunce Cap
By John Mehno
If there's one thing we can all
agree on, it's this:
Other people make too much money.
Just pick your favorite example: Teachers. Elected officials. Port Authority
drivers. Turnpike toll-takers. Professional athletes.
You can probably just jump ahead
to the last entry because everyone believes athletes make too much.
After all, "they play a kid's game." Actually, they're part
of a multi-billion entertainment industry and are "playing a kid's
game" like Bruce Springsteen is "fooling around with a guitar."
But if reason entered into these debates, the Dire Straits hit "Money
For Nothing" wouldn't have been so deliciously dead on.
We long ago came to the realization
that sports is a fiscal never-never land where a $30 million offer can
be considered insulting and the word "only" can logically
proceed a figure like $500,000. It was quaint when the general manager
of the Pirates made more than most of the players, but that ship sailed
a long time ago.
The revolution started in 1966
when the baseball players hired Marvin Miller, a labor lawyer from the
steelworkers union. Their aim was innocent enough - they wondered why
they didn't get a bigger share of the profits from trading cards that
bore their likenesses. By the time Miller was through de-pantsing the
owners, players had free agency, a no-lose arbitration system, one of
the best pension plans in the world, private rooms on the road and,
oh yeah, a much bigger chunk of the money generated by baseball cards.
Other sports fell in step and
kids now grow up understanding that sooner or later, their favorite
team will make a decision based on dollar signs rather than talent.
The money issues never really go away but they're at the forefront any
time a new labor agreement is negotiated.
The National Hockey League is
the latest example, but the NHL adopted the unique policy of not negotiating.
Instead, this was the same scorched-earth strategy that baseball tried
unsuccessfully in 1994. Essentially the plan was to blow it all up and
start over, first with the demand that players protect the owners from
their own excesses.
In real world terms, a salary
cap defies logic. Imagine this scenario: You're a little fast and loose
with the credit cards and have mounting bills. So you phone the local
mall to tell them you'll be visiting this weekend but could they please
restrict your spending to $500 so you can stay under your limit? Will
that happen? More likely they'll send a limo for you to make sure you
overdo it again, sap.
Here's how dumb hockey has been:
Nine months before they declared bankruptcy, the Penguins signed Jaromir
Jagr to a contract they couldn't afford. They did so with the full knowledge
that Jagr was a magnificent talent with a spotty temperament. He was
the kind of player who defied coaches, who would openly berate teammates
and who would leave the ice to pout before the end of a period if things
weren't going his way. You bought Jagr and you got ability and angst
in equal proportion.
Desperate to get some financial
relief, the Penguins traded Jagr to the Washington Capitals for a bundle
of dubious second-tier prospects. It didn't matter what they got because
the mission was to unload Jagr's contract. The Capitals got him and
discovered he was the same gifted but brooding talent he'd been in Pittsburgh.
So they extended his contract for even more money.
Then the Capitals came to understand
that Jagr really wasn't any kind of leader and they could miss the playoffs
with his contract dragging down the payroll.So they unloaded him on
the New York Rangers, who serve as a salvage yard for everyone's expensive
mistakes.
And that's why the NHL needs a
salary cap: Because franchise owners aren't smart enough to avoid duplicating
obvious mistakes.
Yes, those players just make too
much money.
But what about the fools who give
it to them?
John
Mehno has covered Pittsburgh sports since 1974 and is the author of 'The Chronicle
of Baseball' (Carlton, 2000) and 'The Best Book of Football Facts and
Stats' (Firefly, updated for 2004).
In other matters..
The Steelers played only one night
game this season but they'll be all over the prime time schedule next
year. Part of that obviously has to do with this year's success but
TV loves compelling storylines and strong visuals. Ben Roethlisberger
takes care of the first and Bill Cowher's sideline histrionics fill
the second requirement.
In advance of an important game
against the Green Bay Packers, Minnesota Vikings head coach Mike Tice
slept on the floor of his office. What, the Vikings don't have any sofas?
Anyway, the Vikings lost so perhaps Tice needs to sleep in the parking
lot before the Christmas Day game against the Packers.
Chuck Noll has four Super Bowl
rings and didn't spend four nights sleeping in the office during his
23 seasons as Steelers coach. Funny how that worked out.
Walt Harris lost some bad ones
and made some obvious mistakes in his stay at Pitt. That said, he still
didn't deserve the unrelenting hammering he got in the local prints
this season.
Wouldn't it be fun if Jackie Sherill
replaced Joe Paterno?
(John Mehno can be reached
online at: johnmehno@lycos.com)
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