Been There Wrote This
All Steelers All The Time
By John Mehno

Dreaming of a career in television sports? Better work on your vertical leap and bench press. Forget about journalism schools and start scouting some football factories.

There is no quicker path to a job in television than a spot on the Steelers roster. KDKA-TV, your official Steelers station, has done extensive market research and concluded that it’s impossible to overdo the Steelers between the months of September and January. (It would probably work in April and May, too, but let them run that past some focus groups). So the station, which had frequent visits from players last season, has bumped up to an everyday insider fix this year.

Yes, they’re five deep in Steelers who are willing to drop by the studio to report that this week’s opponent is tough regardless of their record and, further, that the beloved Black and Gold will need to be sharp in all three phases of the game to win. This year’s lineup has Joey Porter on Mondays, followed by Alan Faneca, Jerome Bettis, Antwaan Randle El and James Farrior. Alas, Hines Ward, a participant last year, has opted out. This is bad news for those who liked to track the sartorially-savvy receiver’s extensive hat collection. When you’re having one of those weird weeks where you can’t get a handle on what day it is, now you can say, “Hmm...Randle El? Thursday.” Anyone who expects some genuine information from these segments doesn’t know Bill Cowher. If a player said anything mildly inflammatory about an opponent or revealed anything remotely important from a meeting, Cowher would figuratively (and perhaps literally) pull the plug at Gateway Center.

If the segments are short on real insights, they seem to be good for station morale. The anchor smilers are even more chipper when there’s a hunk of Steeler in the studio. They even applauded in the background at the news that Randle El’s wife had just delivered another baby.

It wasn’t even this crazy back in the days when the Steelers were winning the Super Bowl often. Sure, Terry Bradshaw had his singing career and Joe Greene did the Coca-Cola commercial, but broadcast outlets were slow to jump on the bandwagon. Somehow, we got by and enjoyed the season anyway. Keep in mind that KDKA originates significant amounts of pre- and post-game programming, has had a weekly Bettis variety show for several years and even debuted a Steelers game show this summer. The game show proved that Bob Pompeani could be the next Wink Martindale if he wanted to, but some of the questions were even beyond the most radical Steelermaniacs. People who can’t remember their zip code aren’t going to be able to instantly recall Bettis’ exact career rushing total.

You’re left with the feeling that KDKA has an unofficial stand-by squad of reserve Steelers ready to step in should anything happen to the starting five. Keep in mind the players aren’t doing this as a community service or because they want to hobnob with Patrice during commercial breaks. Some serious money is changing hands, otherwise the players would never take on a post-practice commitment that includes a charge for downtown parking.

Set the VCRs, alert the TiVo and bond with your favorite Steelers. And in case you miss the segment, just remember: This week’s opponent is better than their record shows and the Steelers are going to have to be sharp in all three phases of the game to beat them.

In other matters....

¥ Anyone else think it’s profoundly weird that Sidney Crosby is living at Mario Lemieux’s house? OK, he’s only 18 and probably shouldn’t be on his own, if only because of those girls with the blue lipstick who hang around outside Gate Two. But who wants to live at the boss’ house? Imagine Heath Miller bunking at Dan Rooney’s.

¥ As much as Pittsburgh needs a new multi-purpose arena, those who claim it will cause a drastic increase in bookings are mistaken. Most of the spring, summer and early fall concert business goes outdoors to the Whatever-They’re-Calling-It-Now Pavilion in Burgettstown. It’s cheap to run there because there are fewer unions and it’s far from the double-whammy Allegheny County/City of Pittsburgh tax bite. PNC Park and Heinz Field are competing for the bigger shows and a lot of acts don’t tour the Northeast in winter because of potential weather issues affecting travel and customer access. Pitt no longer has a need to take basketball games off campus and Duquesne doesn’t have the sway to fill 17,000 seats. WWE tours only hit cities about four times a year and fabricated sports like indoor soccer, lacrosse, Arena football and roller hockey have all failed. So what does that leave, truck pulls?

¥ At last check, Myron Cope was still delivering his Pro Football Hall of Fame acceptance speech.

John Mehno has been covering Pittsburgh sports since 1974 and can be reached at: johnmehno@lycos.com.